I recently read a survey that said that more people lie about money than sex. I was not surprised. People seem to take money more seriously than sex. They seem to define themselves more in relationship to money than in relationship to sex. I�ve even met several who were much more interested in money than sex�and I�m not even talking about those people who have more interest in anything than sex.

Apparently, people are particularly willing to lie to their spouses about money. I might be tempted but the family books are open books around here. Either of us can read them although we don�t always agree on what constitutes a good plot. Heck, sometimes we don�t even agree about the characters. (That budget contains a creature named Emergency Fund. I don�t care what Mr. Philately says. He�s wrong. He just doesn�t understand that the creature�s nickname is Savings.) Despite that, we seem to argue about money less than many couples. Still, I can understand why spouses might lie to each other about money. It can be a power issue.

What I have trouble comprehending is why so many people lie to themselves about money to such an extent. (We all fool ourselves a little�except perhaps me.) I�ve known quite a few people who spend their time waiting for their ship to come in and never get around to telling themselves that they are waiting in Arizona--- figuratively. They place their money in high-risk stocks and then want someone prosecuted when they inevitably lose their money. Better yet, they want someone who was more cautious to cover the loss for them.

I�ve also known a few who lie to themselves and tell themselves they are poor when they are not. You would think that these people would do better than the other liars and sometimes they do but not always. I�ve known people who have let their kids generously help them with money only for those kids to discover years later that no help was ever really needed. I�m not sure their children are any less resentful than the ones who must rescue their parents from an inability to understand the word �budget.�

We�d all do a lot better if we stopped confusing love and money. I can give money out of love but I can withhold it out of love too. How much money I give is at best a very poor reflection of how much I love. Years ago, we supported Mr. Philately�s grandmother for several years. I never begrudged her the money because her problems were those that even a reasonably good money manager faces when she�s worked at a back-breaking, dirty job for minimum wage for years. I sent her money and never regretted it and I can assure you that I never loved her.

So let�s all resolve to stop lying about money and go on to lying about the important things. Repeat after me, �I did not eat that brownie.� Now say it like it�s true.

|